We have been writing to our son since before he was born so that he'll know what we were thinking and doing while we were getting ready to meet him.

Here is an excerpt from a letter when he was about 9 days old. I'm sharing it with family and friends because I want them to know what I've experienced.

I do want you to know that because of you, I was able to experience the presence of God. The Thursday morning after your birth, I was feeling very, very anxious. Mom was still in the hospital and I had gone home to get some sleep. I was lying in bed, probably about 5:30am when I couldn't stand the pain any longer. As I lay there, I prayed. I asked God for strength and guidance and for some relief. In the darkness of the morning with my eyes closed, I noticed a light in the darkness. It wasn't a pinpoint of light, but a consuming light that moved the darkness. I knew this was God answering my prayer. I felt comforted and like I was not going to have to face my fears alone.

The strange thing is, if experiencing God isn't odd enough, I have noticed the same light sometimes when I know I should only see darkness when I shut my eyes. This light has come to me several times over the last couple of months. I didn't know what to make of it at the time, but I now know that God had been showing Himself to me very directly, but I could not see Him until I was ready. God did not speak to me, He did not appear in any form, other than His light. God answered my prayer, the prayer of an unbelieving sinner.

But there's another point to this. The big question is 'What Now?' I am now going to try to find a path to walk that incorporates my faith into my life, and my family's life. But, I'm not sure how to do that. I expect that by the time you read this and can understand it, we'll both know the answer.

Your loving father, Robert